Saturday, April 29, 2006

Decisions, decisions, decisions

LIFE is an endless decision making process, from the most simplest decisions to the most complex ones. Sometimes we are forced to do action due to a decision that we have committed ourselves to. Other times we just make up our minds and do things due to some unexpected events. Malalim yata ito.

Por ejemplo (e.g.)the alarm goes at 5:20am, shall I get up now or wait till after the 5:30 news? Then taking a shower is a decision I have made long time ago as it is part of my personal routine, so it's an automatic activity. For breakfast I've also decided to have toast and coffee. Then- should I wake up Ray or not? He is 16 and he has an alarm radio so i decided to leave him alone and let him sleep and not care whether he'll be late for school or not. But when I get to work, I fret and ring him whether he's up- and being the nagging mum that I am, I say, make sure you eat your B/F, bring water etc etc etc. He's a good son and he knows how to shut me up by saying ' have a nice day at work mum' hehehe.

One of my more complex decisions was whether to accept a full time job or not. This takes a longer time to ponder as there are sacrifices I have to make and the major one is spending time away from home and family. On the other hand, kids need little caring now and things are pretty organised at home but what about this home business that we were planning to expand? It was a hard decision to make but when I finally made the decision to accept the job, everything fell into place and I am still very happy that I made the decision and so therefore I don't mind going on the train back and forth to the city. All other activities revolve around my job now but the benefits are so good that I could still take time off for some holidays, taking Ray to the doctor, grocery shopping and tending to my garden.

When Dad died suddenly in Baguio, Phils, I didn't even make any decision. I just made up my mind that at all cost, I am going home to pay my last respect. Never mind if Vivian will be away from Kindy for 3 weeks, never mind that I was having some difficulties in my pregnancy (I was 3 mos pregnant with Ray), never mind if I lose my visa ( I was holding a NZ temporary visa at that time), never mind if I lose all my savings for the expensive fare. I did go and I never regretted I did. It was hard going on the way back to Hastings NZ as had to start from scratch again but look, we got over it and life moved on.

pixtaken in the gold coast qld at the one and only casino then- i was deciding whether to gamble my 100 bucks or not guess what i decided not to and went shopping and bought a pair of nice leather boots for David (my other half) and sometimes I ponder that maybe if I did go and gamble, I would have won and would have afforded to buy myself a pair of fancy shoes too?.