Sunday, November 18, 2007

Intermission blog

While organising my thoughts and photos for the next blog, here are some jokes that my cousin from Sydney shared which sent me cracking up...laughing... will be visiting your 'homes' on Wednesday as I am feeling a bit tired after all the barrage of activities I did last week. I composed whis blog on yahoo and will transfer it over to Multiply for the benefit of all friends

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN




1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.


2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.


3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________


Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.


2nd baby:
You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.


3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________


The Layette
:


1st baby:
You pre -wash newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.


2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.


3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________


Worries:
1st baby:
At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby


2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.


3rd baby:
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________


Pacifier:
1st baby:
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you c an go home and wash and boil it.


2nd baby:
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.


3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________


Diapering:
1st baby:
You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.


2nd baby:
You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.



3rd baby:
You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.


_______________________________________________________



Activities:
1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.


2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.


3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
_____________________________________________ _________


Going Out:
1st b aby:
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.


2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.


3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________


At Home:
1st baby:
You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.


2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.



3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________


Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays


2nd child:
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.


3rd child:
When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
______________________________________________________

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children . .. (The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN:
God's reward for allowing your children to live


Feel free to copy/paste it for your friends.